Gloria Steinem’s death came just a few days after that of Dolly Parton. They seemed to be two women who spun in very different orbits. However, their lives intertwined in a way that shows that feminism is more complex than the anti-woke crowd would have us believe.
Ms. Magazine republished Steinem’s 1987 tribute to Parton, the year the latter was named of the magazine’s Women of the Year. (Days later, the same magazine published a tribute to its founder.)
I encourage you to read both articles. For me, the most powerful statement is Steinem’s simple but powerful definition of feminism: “If feminism means each of us finding our unique power, and helping other women do the same, Dolly Parton certainly has done both.”
I think Steinem gets it right and it is simple. Everyone gets to discover and embody their unique power. Create a life that makes sense for them as individuals. Define themselves in ways that make them feel whole. That’s it: no one is forcing anyone to live as a trad wife or a childless cat woman. Have babies, don’t have babies; get married, don’t get married; work outside the home, don’t work outside the home. You get to choose.
If early feminists were evangelical in their quest to get women out of the home and into the world, it was because of the context of the times. Women were ruled by men in their personal, professional and financial lives. Opportunities to work outside the home were limited and often ended upon pregnancy. Even as late as 2008, I had a man tell me that, if he was able to provide continuing grant support for a project, he would probably only be able to keep on my male colleague since he had a family to support. I was married without children at the time so I suppose he thought I was working for fun even though I was actively consulting and finishing up a doctorate.
I was born on the cusp of the first and second waves of feminism. One of the best books I’ve read that shares the experiences of my mother’s generation is The Book Club for Troublesome Women. Here’s my review from LibraryThing:
“The Book Club for Troublesome Women showed up in my Hoopla recommendations. Four women in the new suburbs of Northern Virginia come together to read Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique even as the world and their lives are changing irrevocably in the early 1960s. Bostwick’s story was heart wrenching in many ways as we see women belittled by the world, and in many cases, their own husbands. But Bostwick also explores ideas about how the enforced roles of women required enforced roles for men who may not find bread winning to be their real desire. Of course, there are pretty petty men as well, and I found myself shouting “a*****e” a few times along the way.
She weaves history into the story as the women in Concordia, Virginia, were right on the doorstep of the March on Washington and lived through the assassination of Kennedy. We see them grappling with their changing roles, coming to understand the importance not just of friendship but also mentorship. And, I am a huge fan of Katherine Graham who shows up as herself and provides some support for one of the characters in the novel. It felt a little “Forrest Gumpy” but helped underline the turmoil of those years.”
We grieve the loss of these women. We watch in horror as their work is belittled and dismantled. So, we do what people have always done: we pick up the mantle and march on. Labor Day is a great day to write a letter to your legislator to let them know where you stand on the issues.
